eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
