It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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