Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
