plz talk dirty to me
why didn't you poke me back
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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