why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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