I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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