So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
