did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
