I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize