he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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