whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Randomize
