All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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