Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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