Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
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he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
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i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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