my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
