i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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