If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize