I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
