I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
