Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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