Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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