you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize