Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
It's shark week go big or go home
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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