yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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