i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
