mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
ok first of all what the fuck
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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