She said her name was "party"
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
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