Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
