Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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