As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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