Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Holy shit dude........stairs
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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