i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize