Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
