Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
