I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
