I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
