My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
