woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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