On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
