he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I think a kid would responsible me up
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
