i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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