Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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