I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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