I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
