Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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