im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Randomize
