Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
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