My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
