return my video game
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
