We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
