Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
