I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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