Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
