if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
it's like iHOP with fire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize