So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
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