And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
