Got a toothbrush?
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
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