thus making me awesome and them whores
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
